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Can't Mumbai Me Love

by Andrew Kamal Abdou
(New Jersey, USA)

Can't Mumbai Me Love

Can't Mumbai Me Love

Sujeet Shah, a first-generation Indian-American, has his fortunes change for the better when he employs a campaign of lighthearted cultural deception.

By his own standards, he is the funkiest cat in all of Boston. Young and single, the self-professed "Hunk of Crunk" contracts an incurable case of bootyshakin' fever whenever the sun goes down, with symptoms ranging from non-stop hip-swingin' and undulating to spicy, salsa-infused gyrations. When he's not carving out a groove on the dance floor, the Suj is belting out smooth, soulful hits at the karaoke bar for all of his sexy admirers.

Though, granted, his moves on the planks are fresh, it's no secret to anyone that knows him that he is as smooth as a cheese grater in more important areas of life: Now in his late 20's, Sujeet is content with a ballooning waistline, working a mundane hospital job, and paying rent to live in his bachelor pad in his rents' crib. Whether he's trying to score the digits of a cute nurse or simply putting on his pants in the morning, he is bound to make the worst of it, and either insult, offend, or upend. Compounding all of this, Sujeet is a first generation Indian-American with an embarrassing lack of knowledge or appreciation for his heritage, rendering him the laughingstock of his extended family and further infuriating his parents.

Due to a bit of scheming by his friend James, a medical resident at the hospital, the latest blip on Suj's babe-dar is the beautiful Lalita, granddaughter of Parmita, a tirelessly paranoid Indian woman who is currently refusing surgery for a serious condition because she does not trust American doctors. James needs Parmita to opt for surgery to save his job, so he has the wacky Sujeet feign a Hindi accent and pretend to be from India to allay her concerns. While Suj proves to be a master at pleasing Parmita, he is not so lucky with her granddaughter: Visiting from India, Lalita is intelligent and staunchly independent, proud enough to even take a job waiting tables while in the U.S., and is clearly unlike the airheads that Sujeet usually fawns over.

abdou.andrew (at) gmail.com

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